lenten journal: of prophets and pretending

Sunday morning I came into church a little late and slid into the pew beside the spouse of Carla, our Minister of Christian Education as she was gathering the children at the front for their time together. One of the things I love best about our church is the way our children are taught and encouraged to be a part of worship, and to feel that we are being taught and encouraged to welcome them. As Carla began, Lindsey nudged me and said, “Listen closely.”

Carla began asking the kids questions about various people who lead in worship treating like a quiz show, tossing out clues until the children called out the name of the person she was describing. “This person dresses up during Advent,” she began, “and comes down the aisle singing and pretending to be a prophet.”

“Milton!” they called out.

“Pretending?” I said to Lindsey. “Pretending to be a prophet? Really?” Then we had a good laugh.

As long as I have been a part of a UCC church, I’ve been singing and prophet-pretending during Advent. In fact, the first time the folks in Winchester, where Ginger had just begun as Youth Minister, saw me was when I came down the aisle singing, “Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord” and then declaring, “I am the prophet Isaiah and this is the word of the Lord.” I got the part, then, because I had the long hair and beard to fit the stereotype. I’ve kept the part, now at three different churches over nearly two decades, because I love doing it. Oh, yes, I’m the great pretender.

And I think I’m in good company. Beginning with Moses, none of the Prophets We Know By Name was quick to claim their pedigree. In one way or another they responded to God by saying, “Are you sure you have the right person?” God persisted through their objections, they pushed through their fear and whatever else they needed to push through, and they grew into the role. Frederick Buechner, in his book on preaching, Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale, likened it to the story of the man who put on a mask of a handsome face to woo the woman that he loved because he thought he was ugly. When she finally coaxed him to take it off, he face had taken on the appearance of the mask. “You can act yourself into a new way of feeling,” my first therapist told me as I began to learn to deal with my depression. Whatever God, the Cosmic Midwife, helps to birth in us doesn’t arrive fully formed. We grow. We pretend. We become. We are born again and again and again.

Nora Gallagher’s account of her process of discernment as she moved towards the Episcopal priesthood, Practicing Resurrection, is subtitled, “A Memoir of Work, Doubt, Discernment, and Moments of Grace.” In one of the sessions she describes with her discernment committee (would that we all had one of those!), they pondered the question, “What is a prophetic priesthood?”

“I guess a prophetic priest would be someone who calls out of the people their gifts and calls the church itself into the future,” Ann replied. “Basil Meeking, the Roman Catholic bishop who preached at Dan Corrigan’s funeral, said Dan was a man who never lost hope for the future, that he was set free by hope.”

“A leadership that is too conservative and rigid is suffocating,” said Mark Benson. “And one that is too far out on the margins is too exotic and solitary. A prophetic priesthood exists between these two extremes; it would be generative and procreative.” (92)

Generative and procreative: calling us to be born again and again and again.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve painted the prophets as bearded know-it-alls, holier-than-thou curmudgeons who came to town to call for repentance even as they secretly hoped for fire and brimstone – a mean cop, a bad piano teacher, and a self-righteous television evangelist all rolled into one flaming mass of raging indignation. Maybe that’s why the talk radio and cable news channel guys get so much play. We’ve allowed ourselves to believe those who shout loudest and act like they know they’re right are who we’re supposed to listen to because they are so good at telling us what is wrong.

That’s not prophetic, it’s judgmental.

Prophets are those who imagine dry bones dancing and the rivers and trees bursting with applause. Prophets are those who are heartbroken by all that alienates us from God and from one another, those who call us to give hands and feet to our faith, those who live lives of discernment, as Gallagher defines it, “looking everywhere for traces of God.” And, in a country bent on being right and best and most powerful, prophets are those deemed either irrelevant or naïve, or even dangerous because they are looking for God in a culture where most are looking out for themselves.

One other thing: we are all called to be prophets. The guys with the books named after them stood out because they took the call of God seriously. That possibility is open to anyone who will say, “Here I am, Lord, send me.” The opportunity for any of us to live prophetically – generatively and procreatively – is right in front of us. We can be midwives to peace and civility and inclusiveness and hope and love, should we so choose to allow the Spirit to dance in our bones.

The reason we can change the world is not because we have a corner on the truth, but because we have stumbled into grace and are set free by hope.

Prepare ye the way of the Lord.

Peace,
Milton

letnen journal: survey

In order to survey, Kit said, you always have to have two points. In a photo, he leans over his tripod looking through the scope, high above Otowi Bridge in northern New Mexico, sighting a distant point on the other side of the river . . . I thought of him as making sense of geography. (Nora Gallagher, Practicing Resurrection 27)

survey

I learned Kit’s lesson from my friend,
Doug, who was a surveyor until
he looked through the scope
and saw he was a painter.

On more than one occasion,
we held the pole for one another,
usually over Indian food,
mapping our hearts’ desires,

scoping to make some sense of
the geography of middle age,
a landscape littered with enough
forks in the road to supply silverware

for anyone hungry to know where
they were, or what lay across the
ridge of reason, beyond the forest of
failure, and under the sheltering sky.

Peace,
Milton

tapping the walls

I love being married to a good preacher.

Sunday, she knocked it out of the park – or at least knocked me around a little bit, prophetically speaking. My musings tonight owe much to what she had to say yesterday.

I knew going in to church that her sermon was based on the Luke 5 passage where Jesus first gave fishing advice to the guys in the boat and then called them to drop what they were doing and follow him and “fish for people” instead. I don’t know the lectionary by heart, so I didn’t know the Old Testament reading was another favorite – Isaiah 6 – that begins with the sentence, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord.” The verse intrigues me because of a sermon I heard many years ago (I cannot remember the preacher) that challenged me to see the sentence as more than a marker in time. Isaiah wasn’t describing a chronological coincidence; he was making a statement of cause: something about the death of the king opened his eyes. Though I hold no attachment to any dead royalty, something about the circumstances of my life right now brought me to the same sense of sight. These are days that rumble with the distant thunder of change.

Ginger then invoked a third voice that made for a formidable trinity (small t, but powerful nonetheless): Annie Dillard, with this quote from The Writing Life:

The line of words is a hammer. You hammer against the walls of your house. You tap the walls, lightly, everywhere. After giving many years; attention to these things, you know what to listen for. Some of the walls are bearing walls; they have to stay, or everything will fall down. Other walls can go with impunity; you can hear the difference. Unfortunately, it is often a bearing wall that has to go. It cannot be helped. There is only one solution, which appalls you, but there it is. Knock it out. Duck.

From there, Ginger went on to paint the scene at the shore: Jesus calling out to the fruitless fishermen to drop their nets on the other side of the boat, they can hardly get to shore with their oversized catch, and then he says, “Leave your nets (yes, that would be the ones filled with fish), follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people.”

Growing up Southern Baptist, I was taught this story was about evangelism, hook, line, and sinker. Jesus calls us all to catch people and reel them in. Fair enough. But Ginger took a step back from the whole fishing metaphor to look at what Jesus asked the disciples to do, which was, in Annie Dillard’s terms, knock out a load bearing wall. Fishing in Galilee was lousy work. I would imagine it was a career you were born into, rather than being a chosen profession. You went out everyday in your little boat (read that literally) and took your chances, unsure of the fish, the nasty little sea, and the storms. I suppose Jesus could have gotten them to follow quite easily had he asked when the nets were still empty at the end of a long night: “Your life sucks; come with me.” But he showed them what it felt like to come in with all the fish sticks Mrs. Paul could have wanted and then said, “Leave your nets and come on.”

He called them to courage: come and see.

I know my sense of God’s presence has been heightened by the courageous moves my friend Gordon has made over the past couple of weeks. He has heard Jesus’ call and he has answered. After twenty years, yesterday was his last day as pastor of his church. He resigned to see what God has next for him. He’s knocked down most every wall around him. I am proud of and challenged by my friend.

Annie Dillard is actually talking about writing as she uses the metaphor of home deconstruction, the idea being that you can’t get too tied to any one sentence or paragraph. You have to be willing to lose them all and start over. Another writing book I read years ago suggested, when it came to rewriting and editing, to find the sentence you loved best in what you had written and discarding it to prove to yourself nothing you had written was sacrosanct. They’re right, unfortunately. Of course the other side of the page is being so self-critical that none of it feels worth keeping and you become paralyzed by even the smallest thing, unable to see beyond the minutiae that fill the page.

When it comes to writing/telling/living our life stories, the metaphor works fairly well. We have certain things about our lives that we cannot imagine doing without, and some of them are things we shouldn’t discard. I have no intention, for instance, of spending my life any other way than married to the aforementioned great preacher. Beyond our defining covenants, though, we are called to be willing to leave our nets, to pull down the house, to do what it takes to go when God calls. In that year that King Uzziah died, the passage ends with Isaiah answering, “Here am I, Lord; send me.” We cannot let ourselves become so convinced that we are living our best life that we are not willing to see what else God might have for us. And we have to find a way to an “Uzziah moment” when the despairing details of life pull us to a place where we see only empty nets and long nights and have no ears for those calling from the shore.

The other piece to Ginger’s sermon had to do with the four young African-American men who walked into the Woolworth’s store in Greensboro, North Carolina and sat down to be served at the all-white lunch counter, sparking a national sit-in movement. That happened fifty years ago this past week. The anniversary was marked by the opening of the International Civil Rights institute and Museum in the now renovated Woolworth’s building, and a group from our church drove up there after services yesterday. I had to work, but I did hear a piece on the radio that included interviews with a couple of the men. I was taken by this clip:

“We were totally exhausted,” he said, spending time—as college students always have—discussing “society in general, specifically people we loved and admired.” They gave their parents a hard time “because of what we thought they had not done.” The young men couldn’t understand how they could live with segregation. “To us, that didn’t make sense. Why not do something about it?”


Then they realized they were judging the wrong people. “Our parents didn’t do so badly; after all, look at us. All these months we had been talking and giving our parents hell,” he remembered. And with all the opportunity in the world, “I haven’t done one thing.” To walk away would be irresponsible.

And the walls came tumbling down.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m rehashing the sermon because I need to hear it again. I can hear the voice and I’m trying to figure out which wall needs to go, and praying for the courage to knock it out and the sense to duck.

Peace,
Milton

P. S. -- There's a new recipe.