talk like a pirate

I would be remiss if I did not begin by pointing out that September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Please act and speak accordingly. Arrr.


I would guess it's a big day in Arrrgentina and Arrrkansas, among other places. Might be a good day to go to an Arrr-rated movie. I'm going to be a landlubber, myself, spending most of the day around the house, cleaning the yarrrd and so on. Maybe I'll wear an eye patch just for fun or just stand out front and yell, "Ahoy!" at people passing by. I might even invite them in for some grog.

I would have to say that my favorite pirate is the Dread Pirate Robert from The Princess Bride, which ranks as one of my favorite movies. The other pirate movie I could watch again and again is Hook. I know it didn't get great reviews, but I still find it enchanting. I think it's the kids. But the best pirates in the world are The Pirates Who Won't Do Anything who will soon have their own movie. In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, I leave you with the lyrics to their song.

Arr, arr, arr, arr

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

Well I've never been to Greenland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

We're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

And I've never hoist the main sail
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never veer to starboard 'cause I never sail at all
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

Well I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping ball
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall.

(spoken) Huh? What are you talking about?
Whats a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Hey, thats right! We are supposed to sing about pirate-y things.
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense!
Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
I think you look like Captain Crunch.
Huh? No I don't!
Do too.
Do not!
You're making me hungry.
Thats it! You're walkin' the plank.
Says who?
Says the Cap'n, thats who!
Oh yeah?
Ay Ay, Cap'n Crunch! hehehehe
Arrrgggghh
Yikes!

And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daises on a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings (You just don't get it.)
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!

(spoken) Pass the chips!
Who's got the remote control?
Here it is! Time for Heraldo.
It's definately time for Loch Nech.
Ohh.. I don't like this show.
Hey look! I found a quarter!

Have a piratey day.

Peace,
Milton